Inside an INFJ's Mind | collab with Vanessa

Whoa whoa whoa, long time no see, eh? I have perfectly reasonable excuses as to why I have not published a blog post in almost a month. One of them includes going away for a super duper top secret mission (you will find out one day!) and the other includes being too overwhelmed to actually get on my laptop. So, like I said, perfectly reasonable. But anyhow...

Vanessa and I did a collab a while back about bloggers and all the things we do that you don't know about. We had so much fun chatting and relating to one another while working on that one so we thought we'd do it again! But this time with our personality type.

The mysterious, contradicting, but rare INFJ! 

If you're not familiar as to what an "INFJ" is, it is a MBTI personality type. And if you aren't sure what that is... You can go here to learn more!

We gathered up some topics for us to discuss but before we get into them, you must know... We are not directing this post to ONLY INFJs! Of course, if anyone can relate or wants to share their opinion, please feel free to join in on the conversation! 

But let's also explore a little bit of the inner chambers of the-- *insert spoopy music here* INFJ.


How We Look At The World

Vanessa: As one big challenge. Are we talking about the world and all it’s people or the world and beautiful sights it has to offer? I think that the world is a place where you’ll find a little bit of everything. Good, bad and ugly and you can try to hide from all the ugly (I am guilty of trying to do this) but you won’t see the beautiful unless you step out of your door. I’m always telling myself it’ll be a challenge to get out there and be myself but it’ll be worth it because I’ll grow. I enjoy my home and the internet, okay?

Kenzie: I like to look at it from the outside as if I’m peeking into a snowglobe. For someone who has always had a lingering fear of the world, I do see it a deep and beautiful perspective. The world itself and the people in it inspires me... It’s like listening to a song that makes you feel like your heart is about to burst. It can be sad but also wonderful in so many ways.

Meeting An INFJ

Vanessa: I think one of the biggest misconceptions about INFJs is that we are shy and that’s all. Shy: doesn’t have a lot to say, won’t open up. That’s only entirely true... We are quiet at first until we find comfy grounding. Once we find we are comfortable with someone we will open up and share all of our deepest secrets with you. But note this is only if we find you trustworthy and for me that doesn’t happen to be a lot of people.

Otherwise, you’ll probably be a cared about acquaintance to us. We’ll listen to whatever you have going on in your life and you’ll learn little things about us. INFJs make great listeners since we care so much about everyone.

Kenzie: When you first approach an INFJ, the first thing you will realize is that we are very quiet. I honestly feel so downgraded when people call me “shy” because I’m really not! I’m constantly thinking which means sometimes I might forget to speak... INFJs notice things others may not. We take notes and listen. We are the listeners. And sometimes we might feel more comfortable around certain people over others. We are definitely more talkative and open to people we are close to over people we just met. It takes time to get under our shell but once you do, it is so worth it. ;)

Our Feelings

Vanessa: WHERE DO I EVEN START? Feelings are a hard thing for me to deal with and explain. Complex intense feelings is the best way I can explain them. When I feel something I feel it intensely. Happy is much more than happy it’s joyful, content, radiant, full of life, adventurous, and other things all in one. The same thing applies to darker feelings, making those times a real ride.

Kenzie: VANESSA KNOWS WHAT’S UP. INFJs are very intuitive and sometimes we may feel something so intensely and not know why, exactly. Trying to understand my feelings is like putting a very, very complicated puzzle together. We love being understood, so when someone can actually “get” what we are feeling, it’s the best comfort feeling ever.

Why Our Brains Are Always Talking

Vanessa: Because our mouths can barely do it so our minds must take the stage instead?

Kenzie: BWHAHAHA. Vanessa pretty much just summed us up. If we’re very silent, it’s most likely that our brains are having an intense party filled with every little thought you could possibly think of in such a short span of time. We think A LOT. We’re in our heads probably 100.5% of the time, either daydreaming about the future or thinking of all the different ways we could have done THE THING. The downside of being in our heads all the time is that we end up in a spiral of thoughts, leading to none other than the imperial doom of #overthinking.

Vanessa: YES! Couldn’t have summed that up better!

How We Deal With Decisions That Result In Change

Vanessa: Let me talk about decisions INFJs make that involve others. We are very sensitive towards others which means when it comes to making a decision we tend to think about EVERYONE'S feelings. We truly want everyone to be happy so making those choices can be a back and forth battle between what will make others happy and what you think is right in the situation. We care too much for our own good and sometimes don’t realize we can’t make everyone happy.

Kenzie: I really like your take on this question, Vanessa. Initially, I was going to answer this by going on about how I fear change so my decisions are usually based on that fear lingering in the back of my mind... But I love how you said that our decisions are usually based on what will make others happy and that is so true. We typically look at how the decision will benefit the overall group of people rather than just ourselves. We care so deeply for others and I think it’s because we carry so much empathy with us. Many INFJs reflect the emotions of others- especially me. If someone is sad, I start to reflect those feelings due to my ability to feel for them. Thus, I feel like unintentionally strive to make others happy so we can be happy. (Notice how I totally went off topic from that question?)

Things We Wish We Were Better At

Vanessa: Dealing with emotions, talking to people, stepping outside of my house with confidence (kind of kidding… not really.) For real, a goal of mine has been trying to do things without thinking too much about them. Maybe that’s an anxious mind thing but I struggle with doing things without overthinking them.

Kenzie: This may not be because I’m an INFJ but I wish I was better at accepting the things I cannot control. I beat myself up when I think, “Maybe I could have done THIS to prevent THAT from happening.”

Another thing I wish I was better at would be maintaining my emotions and not letting others control the way I feel. If someone looks at me the wrong way, I end up thinking about it for the rest of the day. It’s just how I am.  

How We Perceive Relationships & Love

Vanessa: I’m looking for “The One.” and if you aren’t it I’m moving on!! It’s as simple as that. As soon as I see a red flag or something that doesn’t match up to what I am looking for I might as well break loose and move on. To me there’s no point in sticking around if I don’t like how things are turning out. Honestly, I just want a fairy tale romance which is why I think I am going to stick to loving the characters in books. Kenzie are you with me?

Kenzie: I am totally with you, Vanessa. I’m a hopeless romantic so if my love story isn’t an actual love story then... *shrugging girl emoji* But while we are on the topic of love and relationships, I have to add that I’m the type of person who believes in being friends first. I feel like I have to know the person before pursuing them in any way. Another thing I look for in someone is how they perceive the world. I want someone who looks at the world the way I do. I need our souls to feel connected. Having someone who understands me (because, let’s face it, I’m extremely complicated) would be an a+ for me.

How We Take Care Of Ourselves

Vanessa: Life is a lot for anyone! There’s so much to handle and every little move takes thought and effort. Taking care of myself is about doing what makes me happy. That’s taking days before I get overwhelmed, pre-planning my commute, waking up early and enjoying my morning. Slowing down helps. I also have a made a habit of not doing anything school/work related after 8pm. My mind does not work at night! Ice cream and some journaling is a favorite when it comes to self care. No one said taking care of ourselves was going to be easy. (:

Kenzie: Sometimes I’ll bury emotions inside me until one day I just snap. And that’s not good... So there are some things that I will do to take care of myself so that doesn’t happen. When I’m feeling anxious or overwhelmed, I usually try to take a step back and turn away from everything for a little bit. Sometimes if I’ve been out in a social environment for too long, I’ll feel a little temperamental so that’s when I basically put myself to bed. I’ll give myself some alone time (something INFJs really value) and I’ll do something I enjoy doing such as reading a cute, fluffy read or the webcomic I’m currently obsessed with. Doing those little things such as having a cup of tea, getting a little more sleep, or relaxing really does help. For me, it’s all about the little things. We are like plants. We still need our sunshine and water, even when we think we’ve had enough of it.

Thank you so much for doing this with me, Vanessa! You know I'm always down to having one of those #deepconvos. ;) I am seriously super excited to do another collab with you! Everyone, please go give Vanessa some love because she is super inspiring and a deep soul. You will instantly feel a sense of comfort while reading her posts. <3


Are you an INFJ? If not, what is your MBTI type? COULD YOU RELAT TO ANY OF THE SUBJECTS WE DISCUSSED? Do you have a different take on them? LET US KNOW! What do you think about relationships and dating? How do you take care of yourself? I can't wait to chat with you!

xx Kenzie

p.s. i did this photoshoot such a long time ago and i'm finally breaking out the photos and it feels so weird. o-o

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12 happy thoughts

  1. YASSS, infjs unite! I love the responses to your questions- it really gave me insight and I just had to whisper *same* at every moment <3

    1. Ahhhhh that makes me so happy like you have no idea! Thank you so much for reading and I'm glad you were able to relate to everything. <3

      I hope you're having a wonderful day, fellow INFJ. (Hey, that rhymed...)

      xx Kenzie

  2. I KEEP LOOKING AT OUR COLLAB and reloading the page every so often because WE DID A WONDERFUL THINGGG. <3 (I am allowed to give our post praise haha!) I ADORE THESE PHOTOS TOO! but what I loved most about this collab was the conversation we had with ourselves and each other. It felt so very reflective. LETS DO THIS AGAIN SOON PLEASE! <3 ily!

    1. WE REALLY DID AND I AM NOT ASHAMED OF SAYING HOW MUCH I LOVE IT! <3 Ahhhhh thank you so much! And oh my gosh, me too! It was so refreshing and definitely much needed for our INFJ souls. :') THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS WITH ME. I can't wait for our future collabs. <3

      You are amazing!

      xx Kenzie

  3. I'm an INFP, so I could still relate to a lot of what you guys talked about. Especially at being quiet and assumed to be "shy" and not opening up to people easily.

    1. Eeeep, I'm so happy to know that you were able to relate to this post as well! Ugh, yes. I feel like a lot of introverts can relate to that...

      Thank you so much for reading, Hannah! I hope you are having a lovely day. <3

      xx Kenzie

  4. "You can try to hide from all the ugly but you won’t see the beautiful unless you step out of your door." I felt that! I'm a classic INFP & I really love when you collab! ♡

    1. THAT QUOTE GOT ME TOO. <3 Asdfghjkl, omg thank you so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed the collab as much as I did! :)

      I hope you are having a wonderful day!

      xx Kenzie

  5. I love this post a lot. It's "insight" into how people think/feel and that's always fascinating to me.

    I've never taken a MBTI test, but I suspect I'm not INFJ. Reason being, I don't experience sheer overwhelming emotions. But I have experienced the "oh she's a shy one" from people. It's weird, wanting to correct people and say, "no, shy and quiet aren't the same thing."

    Self-care is still something I'm working on and figuring out lol. But a few things that have helped me are: unplugging from the internet and carving time out to write what going on in my life.


    1. I'm so pleased to know that you enjoyed this post! It means a lot to me. <3

      Now I'm really interested in what your type is... I have this strange feeling that you might be an INFP? I don't know *too* much about other types aside from INFJs... but I'd actually like to learn more about them. I'm glad you were able to relate- you are not alone! And I agree that unplugging is a great way to self-care and recharge ourselves. Definitely writing what you are feeling/dealing with in life does help make you feel like you have a better handle on your emotions. <3

      Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!

      xx Kenzie

  6. LOVE THISSSSSS. It was super interesting reading it. :) Also these photos are amazing I love so much.

    Nabila | Hot Town Cool Girl

    1. AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH NABILA! <3 You are amazing.

      xx Kenzie


Thank you for taking the time to leave a message, it truly means a lot to me. I try my best to respond to each and every one of them, so come back and let's have a conversation.

xx Kenzie