Why Am I so Angry? (INFJ Thoughts)




Lately, and far too often, I find myself feeling angry (even anxious) over certain things. Typically, they are things that are just out of my reach. Sometimes I feel like I'm not being heard or I don't understand what I am feeling and it forms into this ball of negative energy until I snap or break.

Why is this?


I'm a person who has a very difficult time understanding how I feel. I don't know what it is that I'm feeling until it's either too late or two years later. Oh, so that's why I was so nervous. Duh. 

Needless to say, it's frustrating. Sometimes I try to voice what I'm feeling and it comes out all wrong. And other times, I contradict myself by saying: "Never mind, I'm actually good. Let's forget we ever had this conversation. Hey, want some pizza?"

As an INFJ, I'm a naturally contradicting person. I'm hot AND cold all at the same time. And I think this makes it so hard to understand what you are feeling and how to interpret and understand why you feel the way you do.

WHEN YOU FEEL ANGRY


Anger is something that boils up inside you and wants to spill out. It's hard to control. It's even harder to control when you hold it in- because once you do that, it's more likely to explode.

The best thing to do is tame it. Kind of like taming your dragon. At first, it may seem like an angry beast that wants to eat your whole family when, in fact, it actually just wants to cuddle. o-o So, the best thing to do is befriend your anger. Ask it questions: Why do you feel this way? When did you start feeling this way? What happens when you start feeling this way?

Sometimes I snap when I get angry. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes my cheeks burn a bright shade of red to match my hair. And it makes me feel guilty. I shouldn't feel this way. I'm a happy person. Why do I feel this way? Well, #spoiler: not everyone is perfect. Plus, it's completely normal.

Embrace it

The best thing to do is accept what you are feeling- even if you don't know what it is- and embrace it. Let yourself know you are feeling these emotions, whether you like it or not, and you just gotta accept it.

Let it out


I know I just said not to let your anger explode but that doesn't mean you shouldn't let it out. Whatever you are upset, anxious, or angry over, you cannot let yourself bottle it up. 

Here's are some ways to let out your anger in a composed manner:

- Write it down. This is an old trick and IT. WORKS. I'm actually doing it right now by writing this post, and let me tell you... I feel so much better. 
You don't have to be a good writer- you don't have to be a writer at all! Just put whatever you are feeling down on paper (or screen) and let it all out. Then, crumble it up or let it get lost within your 12949378 other documents. Because now you're not holding it in and it's out of your system and don't you feel so much better?

- Make art. Whenever I am feeling something deeply, I feel the urge to grab my sketchbook and draw a dramatic sketch. You don't have to be an artist or even artistic. Just make something with what you are feeling. The other day I was feeling sad because it was the anniversary of when an old friend and I had met, so I used those emotions to make a journal spread and I felt so much better afterward- even proud. 

- Talk to a friend. I know it's hard to talk about what's going on in your life without thinking you seem like a bother. You're not. Trust me. Friends are friends or a reason, and they like being able to help you. I know I do! So, vent to someone. Don't look for advice in return, let them know you don't expect it either, and just voice/type your feelings to someone. 

Don't let it control you!

Most importantly, you cannot allow your anger to get the best of you. Never ever EVER make decisions based on your current state of mind. If you're angry, pause for a moment and go for a walk before making a decision. Anger loves to rush and make, most often, the wrong choices. So, give yourself a moment to gather your thoughts and feeling AND BREATHE, MY FRIEND


TALK TO ME!

What do you do when you're feeling angry? Or upset? Or anxious? Has there ever been a moment when you let your feelings get the best of you? Thank you so much for reading and allowing me to express my thoughts. I feel like a huge weight was just lifted off my shoulders. SO THANK YOU, FRIENDS. <3 

xx Kenzie



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18 happy thoughts

  1. "At first, it may seem like an angry beast that wants to eat your whole family when, in fact, it actually just wants to cuddle." SAME!!! Thee is always an underlying reason to my anger. A lot of the time I get hangry. My anger managment contains a little bit of food if I haven't eaten and getting in some exercise. I am an INFJ too! This post was fun to read.

    Simply Me

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    1. EEEEPPP HELLO FELLOW INFJ! <3 I totally know what you mean- I get hangry too. o-o But who doesn't, honestly? Food matters and it does affect your mood. I am so glad you enjoyed this post! ^-^ Thank you so much for reading. <3

      xx Kenzie

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  2. I feel a deep connection to this post. I often find myself feeling down or anxious or angry and I do let my emotions control. I'm someone who internalizes a lot and I have a hard time expressing my feelings in verbal words. Written words are my specialty. I'm able to convey things much easier by writing.

    This post was lovely and extremely helpful to me. Thank you. <3

    ~Ivie
    Ivie Writes

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    1. Hi, Ivie!

      I am so pleased to hear that you could connect with this post. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one who feels this way but when I hear that someone can relate to it, it makes me feel so wonderful. <3 And I could not agree/ relate more to what you just said. I simply cannot voice my emotions for the life of me, and I do let them control me sometimes. And yes, it is way easier to write things out. :)

      I am so happy that this was helpful for you! Thank you so much for reading and responding. <3

      xx Kenzie

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  3. Lately I've been noticing myself to get angry far easier than I used to. I have so little patience for people, but I want to get back to when I was happier and more forgiving of myself and others. You have some awesome tips and this is a great post!
    (Also your blog always makes me crave pizza hardcore, but I'm sure that's your intention! XD)

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    1. I know EXACTLY how you feel and it is frustrating, but you can do this. Just be patient with yourself. <3 I am so glad you enjoyed the post. Honestly, I wrote it on a whim. XD (And to be perfectly honest, it was not my intention but I am fairly certain it is all of YOU who make Me crave pizza because YOU ALL KEEP MENTIONING HOW MUCH YOU WANT SOME AND THAT MAKES ME WANT SOME AND ASDFGHJKL-)

      Thank you so much for reading!

      xx Kenzie

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    1. not as wonderful as u boo <3

      xx Kenzie

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  5. dude somehow I never followed your blog? I'm here now anyways XD

    I have a rather interesting (maybe unhealthy?) way of dealing with anger: I don't really get angry often, or for very long when I do, but I'm able to pull from incidents that go way way back and bring out LITERALLY EVERYTHING from history and it's probably really bad. XD

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    1. YAY! THANK YOU FOR JOINING US! ;) *hands you a slice of pizza*

      DUDE. I totally know what you mean and I am certain my bro is the same way. XD Thank you so much for reading!

      xx Kenzie

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  6. I'm an INFJ too and I really relate on being someone with loads of contradictions. I always feel soooo annoyed at myself for being angry which doesn't really make a lot of sense??

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    1. YAY! Another fellow INFJ! ^-^ Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much of a relief that is to hear/read because I. am. the. exact. same. way.

      Thank you so much for reading! I am so glad I am not the only one.

      xx Kenzie

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  7. Someone put it into words!
    I'm an INFJ also. It's exhausting.
    I usually write a letter to the person/thing that my anger is directed at. I let myself say anything I want to in that letter, no filter. Then when it's done, I read through it, crumple it up and throw it away. Liberating. It helps me to not call someone I love a dirty name out loud if I get it out of my system on paper.
    I'll also call my mom or my best friend. They're both great about letting me vent, agreeing with me that whatever happened is a bunch of crap!, and then when I'm all talked out quietly telling me to pray about it, or whatever the situation requires.

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    1. Dang- it's an INFJ gathering here! XD Hello! And yes, I feel you- I'm so glad I am not the only one.

      YES. All of those things are so so sooo important to do when you feel angry or anxious. I am so glad to hear that it helps for you, and I hope to try and do the same from now on. <3 Thank you so much for reading!

      xx Kenzie

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  8. When I get angry, I usually write out my feelings or take a deep breath. Sometimes I need to walk away from what's making me mad.

    Great post, Kenzie! =D

    Micaiah @ Notebooks and Novels

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    1. Thank you so much, Micaiah! Yes, taking deep breaths and walking away for a little bit helps SO much. <3 I'm glad you enjoyed the post. :)

      xx Kenzie

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  9. When I'm angry I almost always try to write it out first and try to sort out why I'm angry.
    I love how you remind us to not let anger control us...I definitely don't want to be a person known for letting my anger cause me to do things I regret.

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    1. The most difficult thing for me is trying to figure out *why* I feel angry. It's rather frustrating. And yes, anger is hard to deal with sometimes, but when you are able to not allow it to take control then I think people will become much happier.

      Thank you so much for reading. I am glad you enjoyed the post. :)

      xx Kenzie

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Thank you for taking the time to leave a message, it truly means a lot to me. I try my best to respond to each and every one of them, so come back and let's have a conversation.

xx Kenzie